This summer is quickly coming to a close and the reality that time flies by is an understatement. My eldest children are in their third and second years of high school; while my youngest is starting middle school. This definitely causes anxiousness in my heart as my husband and I begin contemplating what we will do as they begin to leave home and pursue the path before them. As we prepare out hearts for what the future has in store, we can’t help but wonder: What will their path reveal about them? Will it be as we envision for them?
While this message is about transitioning, it is not so much about the future changes but the here and now changeover I see unfolding in my children. Over this past few years, I have watched one flap wings in preparation to fly and I casted doubt. I have watched another deal with a hardship that hurt deeply and persevere while I held onto the hurt endured. I have seen another deal with things and brush the dirt off shoulders while I think milling them over trying to understand the situation is better. Each so unique, so wonderful, and yet so telling of who they are being fashioned as OPPOSITE of me.
We had a revealing moment into one of our kids as a trip with dad suddenly turned to panic in an unfamiliar country and a subway of all places. I received a text early one morning that read,
“I’ve lost our child!”
Thinking this was a hoax, I just replied,
“Yeah, whatever, not funny, don’t play games like that!”
The text I received back read,
“I’m not kidding, I need you to call me NOW!“
That moment not only sent chills down my spine but also brought on panic to the extreme. I called my husband and upon hearing his voice and the emotion within, I knew he was telling the truth! They were separated at the subway as the doors closed leaving our child behind while my husband had no choice but to ride to their next destination. Our child’s cellphone didn’t have coverage without a WiFi hot-spot and was unable to receive our frantic calls and texts. The next 20-30 minutes that followed were unbearable and gut wrenching to say the least.
Once I received word they were together again not only was I relieved and so very thankful but that’s also when anger set in. What-if scenarios frothed out my mouth like a rabid momma bear directed towards my husband and child. What’s more was the response from my child, (who was totally at peace by the way) making the nonchalant statement of,
“There was no reason to worry. I knew where I was going and what I needed to do to get back to dad.”
In all honesty, that response really blew my top! Really! Come on! Did you not just understand all the emotions we went though as your parents being separated from you!”
After calming down and reflecting upon the situation, the Holy Spirit pressed upon me to ponder this child in my heart. It wasn’t even 48 hours after this whole event transpired that the Bible Study I was doing called “Riding Tandem“ by Annie Pajcic brought Mary front and center in Luke Chapter 2. Guess what she did!? She pondered the things revealed of Jesus in her heart! The Lord just gave me an invitation to sit and meet with Him! He had something to show me regarding my child and my heart attitude towards this situation!
There comes a time of heart transition in each of us from earthly parental authority to heavenly authority. As a parent, I often wonder when that heart transition begins. Is it 12, 14, 16, 18, 21, 26? We see Jesus at the ripe “old” age of 12, say to Mary and Joseph, “Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Can you imagine the questioning and wondering Mary did at his response? Were they able to understand the love and obedience He had to His Heavenly Father over them?
Meditating on the above questions, I wonder if I unintentionally stifle the Spirit in my children because it doesn’t align with my authority. I mean really, I just said as Mary did this week, “Why did you do this to us!” In reality, there was no disrespect or disobedience displayed to us as parents at all. Instead it was about my child;
- Trusting the Lord,
- Heeding the Spirit,
- Taking necessary steps
- Joined back up with Dad
Which is awesome!! I’m beginning to see the very things I should ponder and treasure in my heart regarding my children are the very things I think are in opposition of me. Are the things revealed really bad or in resistance to me? Or are they a greater revelation of a heart transformation towards Christ? I will know by the fruit it bears!
I’ve been shown multiple times through Mary’s story, He reveals things about our children in His timing. As they begin showing their trust in Him, I can’t help but try to grasp onto them and hold them closer longer. It’s in these moments, Holy Spirit often presses upon my heart,
“Why do you fear? Why do you doubt? Why do you question the work I am doing in your children? Don’t you remember I am their Father in Heaven?” I sit back and ponder these words in my heart just as Mary did. There are also times I respond with, “Yes, BUT…..”
I’m learning I won’t always understand the revelation given in the moment, I don’t think Mary did either. How could she know? However her example always captivates me and is one that I admire. She didn’t spew out the mouth as I did with what-if scenarios but instead treasured the revelation in her heart. Wow!
So what was she thinking at that given moment? We don’t know and I can’t wait to ask her in Heaven! Maybe she pondered the reality of whose authority in which he came? Maybe it was the realization the home they made together was not His true home. Where was His Father’s house exactly? We do see that Jesus was first in His Father’s house before(John 1:1-15) sent and given birth to by Mary (Luke 1:26-38) and to the Father he returned (Acts 1:1-11). Isn’t that true for our children? Were they not first His before given to us? Isn’t eternity written on their hearts as is ours? Don’t we want our children to walk with their Heavenly Father allowing him to lead and guide them? Don’t we want their hearts to grow more in love with Him than us? Don’t they have a higher calling, a purpose opposite of our expectations or wishes for them?
Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus and His word! Jesus revealed to Mary the desire of all his children; to be rooted in our Father’s house (heart). Our hearts are His!! We are to love Him, trust in Him, heed the Spirit, and ponder His revelations as he leads our children’s hearts aligning them to His heart/house, His plans, His ways! From one mom heart to another, treasure the distinctive moments of your children’s lives unfolding before you! These marking moments may not always align with our authority but they do define by the fruit beared who is holding their hearts……..Him!