Our family recently spent some time captivated by the emerald green waters of Destin, Florida. It was fun to watch my husband and daughter roll with each wave among the ombré hues of the Gulf. With each swell, they would lean back and let the wave carry them and then look to the shore to measure the distance. They would then swim out and wait for the next big one to carry them further. As I watched them from the beach, a pressing upon my heart began and the words, “Keep watching me.” filled my mind. It wasn’t a watching of people but something of the waters that stirred within my heart.
Each morning I would wake to, “Come watch me.” I’d shuffle my way to the patio with coffee in hand and sit looking out upon the beautiful waters. My gaze rested each time upon the plethora of boats that seemed to race to the open seas. I would giggle as my mind gave a play by play analysis of the perceived races before me.
One particular morning, as I set my gaze upon the boats, I was given a vision for someone dearly known to me. The message that came along with the vision applies to each of us and thought it important to share.
You were the captain of a boat charting course of adventure to a destination you desired. As you left the safety of the harbor, the breeze began to sift through your hair as the sun shined on your face. Your spirit was filled with joy and excitement as you anticipated the new freedom this journey would bring. The boat climbed each swell of the ocean and the salt from the water would splash and smear the view from the windshield. Your intended destination is near and you begin to slow the boat; however, as you got closer, the rudder seemed to break. You turned the wheel each way and tried everything in your power and yet the boat would not go where you wanted to lead it. This caused anger, anxiety, worry and confusion. It’s right there! Why can’t I get there?! And there you sit, adrift at sea.
As time passed, you realized there was no way back unless you called for help. This brought embarrassment, guilt, shame and more anger upon yourself. You ask yourself condemning questions but knowing you are no longer safe without a working boat; you decide to message for a tug boat to tow you back in to the harbor. The tug boat arrives and connects your boat to its own and begins to tow you back to the safety of the harbor. With each swell of the ocean leading you back to the harbor, you become relieved and peace begins to fill your heart. Your smile returns and the gentle breeze passes through your hair once again.
Sometimes we chart our destinations and find ourselves adrift at sea. We know where we are and what our intended destination was to be and wonder, how did this happen? How did we get here? Why didn’t anyone warn or say anything to me? That is a scary feeling that can cause a lot of worry, confusion, pain, anxiety not to mention loneliness. Sometimes we feel lost and even isolate ourselves from the ones who love us either from our own fear or the lies believed that we have fallen too far for anyone to help us.
It is known that while we can navigate our own destinations, they are not always the charted course God has planned for us. This within itself can cause us to be mad at Him and question His love for us. Why can’t we have this, as this is really what I want and makes me happy?! But does it really make you happy?
More often than not, we must humble our hearts and clear our minds to heed the dangers and advice from those who love us. With humility, grief, embarrassment and even shame may follow when we finally reach out for a helping hand. Keep in mind, that in Christ, these feelings should propel you forward in freedom and not hold you captive in what you have done or others have done to you. Forgiveness of others and yourself is key to the peace and healing He has for you.
One failed attempt at your own destination, doesn’t mean that what is desired won’t happen. It could be more like a not yet. Wait for the proper time and don’t rush but rest in the training received. This will help you roll with the waves the next time you are at sea and to lean upon the One who truly steers your way. This is not to say there won’t be rough waters or storms ahead. Peace is not the absence of conflict or trouble. Peace is from within and tethered to the One who can bring you back to the safety of His harbor despite how far you have traveled from the shore or what you have done.