We’ve all been there as moms, frazzled, tired and plain ol’ worn out. We can’t focus nor see past the circumstances before us. We turn to the left and to the right for advice from trusted sources only to realize their well-meaning intentions were just not for you, your marriage, your kids, and where you are in your momma life! We begin to hide away, sink into darkness, feeling convicted or judged by every, “You need to do this”, “You must do that”, “I guarantee if you do this or did this better,” ahhh!!! And you wonder, are they really listening, do they hear your hearts plea? More often than not (myself included), the advice given or received is out of pride and a chance to elevate the very things deemed the “right way” in their eyes. This brings on feelings of condemnation to the very person who just needed a true listening ear, encouragement and a helping hand. In reading the book of Job, I find his plight very similar to ours today, not just as moms, but everyone.
We have entered a new area of training with our older children. Driving!! I can feel my heart beat faster just by typing the word! Teaching them to drive has been…let’s just say….there is not a GPS to guide you through the anxiety, bumps, swerves, near misses, tears and yes, even those wide turns (overly wide turns… eh hem). Sometimes I cannot believe we arrive at our destination unscathed! I’ve always known what the handles on the ceiling of my car were for….really I did. With that being said, never in my mind did actually using them surface! That was until several months ago when one of those wide turns came without the aid of braking. I’ve never grabbed something so fast with all my might as though it could save me from the impending doom ahead. Needless to say, it has become my friend over the past few months. I just hope it will remain intact until my kids carry out the necessary training with responsible driver as their destination.
Sometimes in Mom Life we experience things with our children that are well….lets just say some days can reek to high heaven especially when in the public eye. I’ve had several instances as a mom when going to the store was like a box of chocolates. I didn’t know what behavior I was going to get; sweet, dreamy and smooth or dark and foul racing to the exit! While we experienced many good store runs its “the others” that caused people to follow us throughout the store, point fingers, and give us glares of shame and judgment. Then enters the crème de la crème that dreaded check-out line! It brings you front and center! There is no escape, you are there until the transaction is complete and your momma nerves in addition to your children come unwound like a spool of thread! What is it about the check-out line that drives kids of all ages to insanity?
Laughter overflows as my husband’s voice echoes in my ears. “How can you not notice or pay attention to the things going on outside your vehicle!” to which I reply, “I’m so focused on the chaos going on in the car that my mind cannot focus on anything else!” The stories that I or my children tell, leave just about everyone wondering how I could scrape the side of the car backing out of the garage, or knock off mirrors, or side swipe my husband’s car twice (who by the way didn’t park correctly….that’s my story and I’m sticking to it), or back into a car that I clearly saw behind me in the drive, or the most recent a poor tree!
Moms you know what I’m saying…right! Sometimes, Taylor Swift’s song, “Trouble” begins among our children the minute we step foot in the car! I know I’m not the only mom since our carpet cleaner verified his wife doing this when he went above and beyond and popped out a small dent and used something to buff off the black streaks on my car. With that being said, how can my car troubles be a living example of truth and light? Let me unfold the tree story for you!
My family and I like to snuggle up and watch movies together. One of the girls will pop the popcorn, the other will slice and ready the apples, my husband prepares the movie to be viewed, while my son and I grab the blankets. It’s one of our favorite times to spend as a family but every so often a movie may catch me off guard when the Lord uses it to convict me in my spirit and give me a wake-up call.
This morning started out peacefully as I enjoyed time in The Word and a cup of coffee. One by one sounds from kids’ alarm clocks went off alerting me the house was waking. I giggled as each sound from their clocks directly reflected who they are as a child. The morning going well, I sat and continued writing in my journal while waiting for the kids to finish up. The peaceful and flowing morning came to an abrupt stop within a few minutes of leaving for the bus. Oh how things change in just the mere matter of a second!
One of my children came up in a panic looking for an article of clothing I had not seen since several months before. When I explained where it was last seen voices raised and the quietness became chaos in just a matter of seconds. All focus redirected to emotions and the missing piece of clothing. The peacefulness of the morning now gone and thrown out the window with accusatory tones shouted at each other across the room.